Oh yeah, definitely a two guns kind of week.
Let us now take a moment for a prolonged, reverent, highly spiritual, and deeply soul-cleansing Snoopy dance over yet another of Donald Trump’s absolute and abject failures.
On Thursday, Trump let the nation know he was ready to put an end to his efforts to place a question about citizenship on the 2020 census. Trump did so after he fought for the question in the district courts and lost. And took it to the appellate court. And lost. And hustled it before the Supreme Court. And lost. Then, displaying an incredible taste for crow, Trump told William Barr and his crack team of toadies to oust the attorneys who had been defending the case to that point, and start over with All New Attorneys and All New Reasoning. And in doing so, Trump demonstrated that it’s possible to lose even more, even after you’ve already lost.
Finally, after weeks of proclaiming that he could solve all this with a single scrawl of his magic executive order Sharpie, Trump called a friends-only press conference in the Rose Garden, set up a podium, and marched out with Barr and Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross at his sides … to admit utter defeat.
As Axios notes, it was a “cave” that “stunned Trump’s allies.” It also showed that every ounce of effort expended on trying to help Trump roll this boulder uphill was “a total waste of time” that makes his owned-and-operated party less enthusiastic about signing on to whatever windmill-tilt is next on Trump’s chaotic agenda.
Trump tried to pass this off by declaring that he would get the information by other means, and Barr made it clear that Republicans had absolutely not given up on the idea of using fear tactics to secure even more disproportionate representation for rural white districts. But all that was little more than a smoke screen in front of the yawning mouth of a “full cave.”
But it least Trump did it on the day of his social media summit, at a time when the sheer black-hole-dwarfing force of the Nazis and conspiracy theorists gathered on the White House lawn was enough to generate a prolonged, and deeply ironic, Twitter outage. Because only a collection of birthers, 9/11 truthers, and Q-theorists would take Trump’s “I meant to do that” statements seriously.